Mutha f*ck Snoop mutha f*ck Dre mutha f*ck……online shopping???

HOLY HELL……Somebody needs to seriously pry my credit card (and my paypal debit account and my victoria secret angels card) out of my needy little overindulgent, spend happy fingers! Have you ever watched a “haul” video on youtube? Well if you know what I’m talking about, you would know that my entire life’s existance is a giant “haul video” consisting of me huddled up to the mailbox at 9:30AM exactly every morning waiting for the scrawny little mailman with the red beard and dog treats to “gimmie the loot gimmie the loot.”  It has gotten to the point where I have no idea what I have purchesed or what is in store for me at the mailbox; only the fact that I know everyday something will be there!! …..and its like fucking Christmas…everyday….EVERY….DAY!!!

The only real mutha f*ckin G’s are the retailers on the internet who have me wrapped around their fingers…..well done assholes lol

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Habits and Parties

SOOOO…first off, I am having this ridiculous problem with kicking habits. I recently quit smoking (WOOP WOOP) however, I am most definitely one of those loser “I only smoke when I drink” people. The only problem with this is that I happen to drink quite a lot, AND I am now looking for more and more excuses to sit down crack a bottle of bubbly..pop in a skewer of frozen blueberries (yes I keep then on hand im my freezer for such occasions) and sit down with a good book and….dun dun dun…a cig…EWW. To further help my quitting I have taken up coffee as my new vice. Now the interesting thing here is that I used to go ape shit for green tea, were talking about 5 mugs a day.  I have found now that coffee takes the edge off things a little more…or does it add the edge? I haven’t really analyzed that one yet……

Speaking of cigarettes and drinking….I had quite the house party this weekend.  So naturally, being my parents expensive ass shit and all, I was tres concerned about breaking things, spillage etc.  to the point that I was quite the stress case. Funny enough, other than regular old mess, nothing was damaged. Until the next morning when I was hung over.

The following is a list of shit I FUCKED UP all by myself the next morning:

1)Smashed the glass of the “hutch”

2)Broke the slider for my keyboard off of the computer desk.

3)Broke  2 glasses, a bowl, and a really pretty party light candle

4)The light in the fridge just stopped working..new bulb and all

5) Melted the handle on my microwave trying to extinguish 5 flame engulfed stuffed goat cheese jalapeno’s

FML…

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Blog blog blogity blog….Valentine’s edition

Wow…ok i’ve returned from a long hiatus in which I have done nothing too productive aside from get my COMMUNIUCATIONS DEGREE from SFU WOOP WOOP! So, I got to thinking,since it is Vanentines Day I thought i’d like to share with you my three things I love, aside from my amazing boyfriend (blah blah blah..insert mushy lovey stuff here)

Here we go:

LAS VEGAS:  In a recent turn of events I have managed to solidify my plans for my 8th AND 9th trip to Vegas. Clearly I am obsessed with that place and need to move there to justify how much I spend annually on airfair and hotels. In my defense however, it does have the perfect recipe for my own personal heaven..bright lights, luxurious suites, crowds, shopping, heat, slushy-boozy drinks in big cups, and generally sexy ass people.  Along from my bad (by bad I mean great) habit of enjoying a few to many mini Jacks and the occasionally mini merlot (to keep it classy)on the flight down, Vegas allows me to tap into my overindulgent side— like I needed an excuse.  Vegas is the epitome of eveything I shouldn’t love but do ❤

DIANA  GABALDON’S OUTLANDER SERIES: Ooh Emm Geee…..do you have a spare 2-4 days in your calander weeks coming up that you can devote to permanantly denting your reading chair with your ass?? If so, you HAVE to read this book.  It has everything that a girl could want…..LOVE, SEX, ADVENTURE, HISTORY….and a very sexy Scot named Jamie. I read this book for the first time about 6 years ago and have read it about 7 times since. It is one of those books that has had such an impact in my outlook on shizz that I probably think about it 3 or 4 times a week. It is just that great. READ IT..you wont be sorry.

COREY”S CORNBREAD (NOT FOR THOSE CONCERNED ABOUT THEIR FAT ASS): Ok I looove to bake this stuff, probably because I suck at baking anything else. Fortunantly for you all, I will bless this blog with the tastiest cornbread you have ever crammed in your mouth.

Corey’s Cornbread

3/4 cup of cornmeal * 1 and 1/4 cup of milk *  1/4 cup of vegtable oil * 1 egg  * 1 cup flour * 1 tbsp baking powder * 1/2 tsp salt * 1/3 cup sugar * 1 1/2 cups of chopped strawberries and blueberries.

Preheat oven to 400 degrees Farenheit.  Mix all indredients and place in greased 8×8 pan. Fold berries into batter last minute. Cook for 20-25 minutes. at about 20 minutes take out of oven and drizzle maple syrup over the top and put back in until sticky, golden and delishhh.  Eat hot with some butter and thank me later.

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You win some…you drunklenly sprain some

ok do you want the good news or the bad news first……

 

 ok good news.

 SO GUESS WHAT?

 I got offered a job in NEW YORK CITY!!!

 You may ask, how does a 22 year old from North Vancouver get a killer job offer from the Big Apple? The answer is absolutly nothing!

 I randomly met this chick who just so happens to be the PR Director for Lush Cosmetics!!!!!!!!!! She loved me and wants me to move there and work with her when I’m done my degree!!! YAY!! I’m pretty thrilled…….

 So the bad news is that I fucked up my ankle (again) whilst drunkly galavanting around the historic cobble streets of old Gastown in 4 inch heels….Yep, it’s black and blue and HUGE!!

 oops.

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Pitts, Prudes and Percatious People

I don’t feel like going into a giant tirade on people and there fear of Pittbulls as I am trying to be as unbiased as I can considering I am the “mother” lol of 3 myself. In the Vancouver area and I’m sure in many other places, we have MASSIVE stigmas about Pittbulls. I 100% completely understand peoples fear of Pittbulls and most of it stems from ignorance and or over sensationalized news stories (some of which are horrific and my heart goes out to victims who have been attacked). Anyhow, I hear this phrase all the time been around Pits for a long time and have never been so much as growled at or barked at by them. Our Pittbull just recently gave birth to 7 beautiful puppies. Getting rid of them however was kind of difficult as I believe that the reason for vicious Pittbulls is there upbringing and owner. We were very selective of the people we let our puppies go to which ended up being hard seeing as many “decent” people had the vicious Pitt stigma already embedded in their minds. The majority of potential buyers were young gangster type guys who couldn’t wait to clip their ears and walk them around town with spiked collars on. Not on our watch was that going to happen. Eventually, we sent out pups to awesome families who can give them love and bring them up to be sweet affectionate pets. Our dogs are the sweetest, most fun loving, loyal pets we could ever ask for and I just wish others could see our “babies” how I see them not as mean assholes of animals.

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Canada Day Aftermath: A Morning of Recollection and Regret

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                           I AM HUNGOVER like you can’t even imagine…so yesterday was good ol’ Canada Day, and like many eagar Canadians I reached for the bottle to celebrate my country’s  “birth”. It started out with a trip to the steamroon (I dont know why we did this as it was 26 degrees outside). Paula and Krista and I then went down to Ambelside beach..we were unceremoniously ditched by our other flakester of a friend lol. I then proceeded to get very drunk in my new white bikini (bad idea). Anyhow….blah blah blah (insert stupid shenanigans here) blah blah. Finally the boyfriend calls, who happens to be at work, and wants me to come get him. I then show up at his house…lay on the floor and finally pants him (I mean undies too) infront of his brother and girlfriend. We then got into a fight about something else stupid and I end up crying in his bed. Needless to say im a little embaressed.

 Moving on….Another bad thing that happened is my day off got switched from Monday to Thursday. This sucks because the boyfriend, only has Mondays and Tuesdays off. My summer is officially hooped….I’m gonna go eat my lunch now and try not to barf lol

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